When should I check in?
You do not need to wait until someone is in crisis before checking in.
You don’t need to have the perfect words or wait for the perfect moment.
If you have noticed a change, know that the person has been through something difficult, or simply feel concerned, it may be worth reaching out.
Checking in does not mean assuming you know what is wrong. It means giving the person an opportunity to talk and letting them know you care.
Consider checking in when:
- someone seems different from how they usually are
- you have noticed changes in their mood, behaviour or routine
- they appear overwhelmed or under unusual pressure
- they have withdrawn from people or activities
- they have experienced a loss, relationship change or other difficult event
- your instincts tell you something is not right
In most situations, it’s better to check in early than wait until things get worse.
Do not wait for the perfect moment
A quiet and private setting can help, but you do not need to create a formal conversation.
Some people find it easier to talk while walking, driving, having coffee or doing something together.
If the person does not want to talk, respect their choice and leave the door open:
“That’s okay. I just wanted you to know I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
Checking in once can matter. Checking in again can show the person that your care was genuine.
